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I want to be more than just
a tangle of arteries and cartilage
I want to be pink sunsets,
poppy tendrils, and puzzle pieces:
things not to be lost in the folds of time
or buried to feed summer grasses;

I want to mean something
through the small things,
so even if this poem is forgotten
amongst greater works,
and even if my small deeds are lost
amid the grandiose ones,
I will still resonate;

I will resonate in the way
that I held my daughter’s hand
and braided her hair into plaits,
in the way that I spoke
gently and with a honey tongue,
in the way that I carried myself
like I had never felt grief’s weight
settle on my birdlike shoulders;

And when you cannot recall
the exact color of my eyes,
the sound of my smile,
or the look of my laugh,
I hope you will not forget me entirely,
I hope I will resonate with you.
Worked on this yesterday and today between family visitings. I hope you guys had a lovely holiday and a good day in general!

This one took a lot of reworking and rephrasing because I kept making myself sound like I think I'm God and a complete and utter narcissist. Hopefully I fixed that...
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:iconthegirlfromindonesia:
:iconluvluvplz:
Beautiful writing! :)
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much!
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:iconthegirlfromindonesia:
No prob :aww:
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:iconhappyhs:
HappyHS Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is actually really awesome. i love it.
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
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:iconthe-anariarch:
The-Anariarch Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
Prepare to Broadside the-anariarch.deviantart.com/a…

Many Thanks for the Inspiration.
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That's incredible!
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:iconneighko:
Neighko Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist
Okay this is SOooOO lovely I adore it completely
In my opinion, you don't sound greedy, but more like you are attempting to seek an identity... like a connection with someone. Trying to make yourself feel like someone worth remembering. Does that even make sense,I don't know, but I do know that you were worried about sounding selfish and it did not come across like that at all :-))
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It makes lots of sense! THANK YOU! I was so worried; I was trying really hard not to sound like I think I'm God (it sounded bllasphemous for a bit haha) or that I JUST WAN TA LOT OF THINGS OKAY! But, I'm glad it came across the way I wanted it to!
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:iconneighko:
Neighko Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist
ok good!! I didn't get any of that--i mean you came off as confident but I mean you are confident so it shouldn't be a problem (;
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Rad as hEKC
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:icontheunisquirrel2:
TheUniSquirrel2 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
:) I like this a lot as it is, it's mostly cheery-sounding instead of gloomy like most other poems I've read.
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! I'm (generally) a cheery person, but I do know that gloomy emotions tend to pack a stronger punch because they'r emore relatable. I'm glad you were metaphorically punched by this one!
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:icontheunisquirrel2:
TheUniSquirrel2 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Artist

:iconsadtearplz: it hurt.....

Just kidding, I only got a smidge of a bruise! X3

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:iconguineveretogwen:
GuinevereToGwen Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student Writer
I feel like this poem is especially meaningful. You conveyed your thoughts expertly. The first stanza is really amazing, the imagery is fantastic. There's very little else to say. :) Wonderful work!
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
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:iconunibrain:
UniBrain Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
why do want so much?
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, shit, do I sound greedy in this poem?!
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:iconunibrain:
UniBrain Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
yes, but such is the nature insurgent in the human construct
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:icondapperzombie:
DapperZombie Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:') beautiful
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks Nanie!
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December 25, 2013
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