literature

To My Biology Textbook EXTENDED

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saltwaterlungs's avatar
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Literature Text

On page 159 of my biology textbook, it reads,
“...cancer is the uncontrolled growth of cells”
as though that could explain everything,
and I thought it did for a time.

But my textbook never warned me
that his skin would pale
to a point where I could see
the blue freight trains
carrying eighteen pills
throughout his frail body.

My textbook never warned me
my grandma who used to spit sparks
would begin swallowing them,
and I would be the only one
to see the ashes tumble from her lips.

My textbook never warned me
that his watery irises would freeze over,
that he would hurl insults like knives,
and that he would clench his jaw
as tightly as his fist clenched his wine glass
because the only person to blame is himself,
and he can’t swallow that as easily
as he can the olives in his martinis.

My textbook never warned me
that my grandma would whisper
with the ashes spilling out her mouth
like prayers she had never uttered before,
that he fought because he wanted to see
my sister and I in long white gowns
and the tiny pink hands of grandchildren,
and I can’t promise those things
to anyone, not even myself.

And my textbook never warned me
that it would be this difficult to breathe
because of my acute awareness
that his breaths are limited,
and that there would be nothing I could do
but soldier on searching for that silver lining
clinging to these foreboding thunderheads.
Because my watchers responded SO enthusiastically about this!

There are, of course, even more stanzas, but they suck. I just included the ones about my grandma. I also played around with some formatting this morning, but I kept it the same, just becuase this is "extended" and not "Hannah edits everything about this".
© 2014 - 2024 saltwaterlungs
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