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he asked her if she loved him
and she looked at that golden boy
with a bumblebee smile and sad veins
like good champagne leaking onto the stars
only a million words were left unsaid.
EDIT: WOW!!! A Daily Deviation?! Thank you all so much!

EDIT:I honestly have no idea what to title this. I just left it at the first line, but if you have suggestions, please share. Thank you for your suggestions! I've finally picked a title, thanks to =Sammur-amat!

I love this poem, guys. I think this is the first poem in a long while that I actually have felt about passionately when composing and when it was finished. The words to describe the picture I had in my head came easily and they fit the picture I had perfectly. I hope you love this as much as I do :heart:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-09-27
honey-filled hearts by ~NonsenseQueen Suggester Writes: This poem has the inexorable infectiousness that can only come from young love. ( Suggested by Craazhy and Featured by BeccaJS )
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015
Oh Hannah, this is gorgeous! I wish I had written this piece, and that's the highest compliment I can give to a fellow writer! :heart:

congratulations on the well-deserved DD! :+fav:
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! Even though I wrote it so long ago, I am still really proud of it, and it makes me so happy that you love it as I do!
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015
I absolutely do!  And to me, it doesn't matter how long you may have written it, it's definitely stood the test of time, and I'm glad I came upon it at last... better late than never, right?
Reply
:iconmedoriko:
Medoriko Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Student Writer
Stunning. Just Stunning.
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconthetonythethe:
thetonythethe Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Professional General Artist
this is such a good poem i love it so much! :D
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, homie! B)
Reply
:iconcreataire:
creataire Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
good job! the champagne line is my favorite, i think, but you captured an almost indescribable feeling in such a short poem. well done.
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:icon19andmugsy:
19andMugsy Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
wow this is beautifully put. very well said :)  
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconkissysaltcoatedangel:
kissysaltcoatedangel Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Beautifully written, smooth and flowing like fresh honey! :heart: 
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconkissysaltcoatedangel:
kissysaltcoatedangel Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: My pleasure! :heart: 
Reply
:iconbluesoulgreenmind:
BlueSoulGreenMind Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013
A beautiful poem. A wonderful flow and a consistant theme.
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congratulations on the DD!
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:iconspartanginger:
SpartanGinger Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Student General Artist
congrats on the DD~! this piece earned it oAo it's so short, but gorgeous the way everything fits perfectly inside those five lines. :iconbravoplz:
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconxunsaidthoughtsx:
xUnsaidThoughtsx Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
Nice poem! If I may ask, where can I make a poem in this format?
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm afraid I don't understand your question. I made this in a Word document?
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:iconxunsaidthoughtsx:
xUnsaidThoughtsx Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
Oh, you just make it in a document and post it? (sorry, i'm new to this :/ )
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You can upload documents, but not all forms of Word are compatible. Mine isn't. I normally just copy paste into the section of "add text". Hope this helps, and happy writing!
Reply
:iconsublime-ape:
sublime-ape Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
congrats! :glomp:
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Short and sweet, and lovely metaphors and similes!
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Student General Artist
You're very welcome!
Reply
:icondaylighteneddark:
DayLightenedDark Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I loved this! You put in imagery I could easily imagine, and the diction was so descriptive. Congratulations on the DD!
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:icondaylighteneddark:
DayLightenedDark Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem!
Reply
:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Gorgeous imagery. Lovely. :heart: 
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:icononegiantdinosaur:
onegiantdinosaur Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, very powerful. Definitely deserving of the DD!
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconkoi-sauce:
Koi-Sauce Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! It is a simplistic but a powerfully compelling piece! C:~*
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much!
Reply
:iconredrevanna:
RedRevanna Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Student Writer
OMG a DD! Congratulations, Hannah!
Well deserved! ♥
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
THanks! I honestly can't believe it!
Reply
:iconwdnest:
wdnest Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Professional Writer
Wonderful - wanting to know more. Lovely - love it.
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:icononly-blooms-at-night:

How sweet this brief piece which says just enough for the imagery and the emotions -- you can leave the other million words unspoken.

 

My congratulations! :heart: :+fav:

Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconmalco735:
Malco735 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really love this. I'm heading towards a similar situation so sometimes like this really hits me. Awesome work! :D
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconmalco735:
Malco735 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome :D
Reply
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